Feeling inspired on this feels-like-Sunday Labor Day Monday. I spent it binge watching Ozark on my couch, which as you can imagine turned my mood a bit dark and twisty. As I was scrolling through Facebook I stumbled upon something that brought to light a hardship someone in my life has been going through the past couple months. At the risk of being too vague, I’ll just say this someone was a big part of my life at a point and no longer is. When someone departs your life, you’re left filling in the gaps of the “whys and hows” using your imagination. I don’t know about you, but my imagination is a self-depricating sadist. (Never know if I’m using that word correctly and likely am not). In simpler terms, I often come to conclusions that paint myself in the worst possible light. Everything must comes back to something I did wrong, or a fault of mine that led to the outcome. Rightsizing this mental fallacy is something I’m working on, which is why I find it important to inspect and document specific cases of it, like this.
Learning what this person had been going through in recent months changed my perspective. I was able to see outside forces at work in this person’s life outside of myself. I think the biggest part of growing up is simply realizing the world in fact does not revolve around us. All these conclusions I’d come to in my head had bullets shot through them when I took a step back and realized so much of the outcome really had nothing to do with me.
I apologize for yet another vague rambling post with one too many pronouns and not enough juicy details, however in the case TSP (can my blog pull off an acronym yet?) blows up overnight, I’d hate to expose ALL of my deepest thoughts at feelings. I guess my point here is we need to be able to take a step back and realize that everyone has shit going on. A back-handed comment or text gone unanswered from someone likely ISN’T the result of anything you did. Just like the unfortunate ending to my relationship with this person had little to do with me. There’s always much more at play.
Be mindful. Be easy on yourself. Forgive.
Live. Laugh. Love.